Well,I thought that I would handle this hurdle as I had handled so many others. Read a book on it. Want to lay down hard wood floors? There's a book for that. Need to do a little plumbing? No problem, there's a book. Want to add to your repertoire of cooking sauces? There's more than a soupcon. As a homeowner, teacher, mother and avid adopter of hobbies, my actions have always been well informed by the books I have poured over. So when I found myself facing my latest obstacle, an "empty nest", my second thought, after briefly considering that my purposeful life had ended,was that a book might help.
Now don't get me wrong, I don't believe that a woman is nothing without children. I have a teaching career that I love and students I am devoted to, a smattering of friends whose company I enjoy and a host of interests and hobbies that I am forever taking up (and abandoning). My life is not without meaning. It's just that it was so immensely wonderful when my children were home. Not free from strife, not always apple pie and picnics, but still immensely wonderful.
But my children have their own lives now, and right now those lives are far from where I am. Not one to sit still, I trudge off to the library where I typed in "empty nest" and the computerized card catalog (Does anyone else remember the "real" card catalog?) promptly sends me to the 300 section. I had no idea what I was in for. In under a minute I found myself standing in front of a bookshelf that could sum up my entire adult life. There, organized according to the Dewey Decimal System was everything I had lived through and everything that was left to look forward to, neatly contained in six stuffed shelves. The top bookshelf had an alluring selection of books about dating and sex, followed (some might argue this arrangement) by books on marriage. Further down the case were books about raising toddlers, mothers going back to work, wrestling with teenagers or perhaps sending them off to college. These were followed by an alarming number of books on caring for your aging parents and finally books about your own "mature" marriage. Squeezed somewhere in between these last few sections was where I should have found the book I was looking for - titled something like "Beyond Being a Mommy". Apparently I am not the only one struggling with an empty nest because the book was nowhere to be found. Honestly, I didn't look too hard to find it. The bookshelf itself had given me perspective. This was just another stage, another challenge to define myself thoughtfully. My purpose is not gone, it has just moved down the spectrum. The picture of my life will not be taken as a close-up. It will require a wide angle lens. And I welcome the opportunity to refocus.
